Mania, In Spades

Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I’m angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say

Here’s how to make absolutely sure that you’ll keep getting crazier by the day:

-Ignore everything your psychiatrist tells you. Disregaurd all his warnings about the way you’re living your life—in fact, do absoutely everything he tells you not to.

-Don’t always take your pills. They’re a hassle, and what if they make you dull? You don’t need them. And if you’re going to take pills, take them with a glass of wine. It will make the mood swings more exciting.

-Don’t sleep; you’ve got to make sure your body clock is as fucked up as possible. The less you sleep, the more manic you’ll get, until soon you’ll go completely over the edge.

-Drink caffeine. Tons of it. Take your morning pills with coffee. It can’t hurt.

-Work around the clock— it’s important to put yourself under as much stress as possible.

-Eating normally would stabilize your blood sugar, so don’t do that; it’s better to keep your body in as unstable a state as you possibly can for maximum results.

-And, above all else, drink like a fish.

This is exactly where I was at one year ago. Thank you to my friends, and my family for pulling me out of this ridiculous sickness. Love you all

I’ve counted out
and no one knows how far
I’ve driven in the dark
with echoes in my heart

Phone my family, tell them I’m lost
Yeah, I’m lost
and, no, it’s not ok

I believe that believing you will survive is what makes you survive.